Rethinking Your Relationship With Alcohol Part 1: How To Know If Your Drinking Is Problematic

Each time you practice, however, you should experience a feeling of relaxation sweeping through your body. Meditation can provide short-term stress relief and lasting stress management benefits. There are many different forms of meditation to try, each unique and appealing.

Drinking habits can also impact jobs and finances, causing further stress and insecurity. It’s important to remember that alcohol use disorder is a medical condition, not a moral failing. The good news is, once you acknowledge that your drinking has become unhealthy, you can take steps to repair and heal from the role alcohol played in a relationship. What makes this particularly challenging is that problem drinkers often don’t recognize the extent of their impact on others. The nature of alcohol dependence includes denial, rationalization, and an inability to see clearly how how to tell when alcohol is affecting your relationships their drinking habits affect their loved ones. Meanwhile, partners of alcoholics and other family members may find themselves adapting in unhealthy ways, developing their own problematic patterns of thinking and behaving.

Relationships on the Rocks? Understanding the Hidden Impact of Alcohol on Your Connections

In Part 1, we’ll look at how to recognize the signs that your drinking may be problematic — whether it’s affecting your health, relationships, mood, or sense of control. We’ll also talk about why asking these questions in the first place is a strong and healthy step, not a sign of weakness. Remember that you deserve emotional support, respect, and a life free from the chaos and unpredictability of active addiction. Whether that life includes your current partner in recovery or involves making the difficult decision to end the relationship, you have the right to prioritize your own mental health and well-being. The journey of dealing with alcoholic behavior in relationships is undoubtedly difficult, but it’s important to remember that healing is possible.

  • The bottom line is that it can cause more arguments, hurt intimacy, and make a person unable to fulfill their role at home.
  • Drinking habits can also impact jobs and finances, causing further stress and insecurity.
  • For instance, a codependent spouse may look to the drinker for constant validation, become overly involved in the person’s emotions, and try to “fix” them.
  • Couples therapy, when both partners are committed to the process, can help rebuild trust, improve communication, and create a foundation for a healthier relationship.

In that moment, my instinct was to seek solace in alcohol, not realizing that drinking was the very thing dulling my ability to connect with my audience and, by extension, the people closest to me. Let’s not drink tonight,” and I would become what he later described as “irrationally upset.” At the time, I couldn’t understand my own reaction. Looking back, I realize alcohol had become so intertwined with my ability to relax and connect that the thought of an evening without it felt impossible to navigate. Sober Speak is a recovery-focused podcast and online community dedicated to sharing people’s experiences, strengths, and hope in long-term sobriety and early recovery.

#6. Drinking Affects your Children and Family life

Whether your loved one chooses recovery or not, you can take steps to improve your own life and well-being. It’s important to recognize that alcohol addiction often co-occurs with other mental health disorders. Depression, anxiety, PTSD, and other mental health concerns are common among people with substance use disorders. This dual diagnosis situation requires specialized treatment that addresses both conditions simultaneously. The financial hardship that often accompanies alcohol addiction can put enormous strain on relationships.

Problem drinking and relationship troubles can have a reciprocal effect on each other. How much you drink, and your overall drinking habits, may be a source of conflict with some people in your life. This is referred to as problem-focused coping (as opposed to emotion-focused coping). Problem-focused coping involves taking steps to remove the stressor from your life (as opposed to changing how you feel about the stressor). With practice, you’ll learn to recognize tension and tightness in your muscles, and you’ll be able to relax more easily.

  • Taking a walk allows you to enjoy a change of scenery, which can get you into a different frame of mind, and brings the benefits of exercise as well.
  • Trust can be fragile and takes time to rebuild, but creating what I think of as fertile soil through transparency, vulnerability, and consistent action allows genuine trust to blossom naturally.
  • However, it’s generally recommended that the person with alcohol addiction have some period of sobriety before beginning couples work, as active addiction makes genuine therapeutic progress difficult.

Financial and Legal Consequences

These issues can affect employment opportunities, housing options, and family stability for years to come. When you’re in a relationship with someone who drinks too much, their behavior can be hard to cope with. And when you’re the one with a drinking problem, it can be tough to recognize the harm you’re causing and make a change. The Recovery Village Cherry Hill at Cooper offers comprehensive addiction treatment for drug and alcohol addictions and co-occurring mental health conditions.

Consider Seeing A Couples Therapist

A detox program can provide medical support and medications to keep you as safe and comfortable as possible as your body withdraws from alcohol. Often people will notice that they are fighting more with their partner when either or both of the individuals have developed an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. Also, if you’re fighting when you are drinking, you may say or do things that you will regret or that you would not do if you were sober. How alcohol affects relationships extends far beyond romantic partnerships. When you stop drinking, you often discover that alcohol was influencing your connections across all areas of life.

One or two drinks may actually lead to an uptick in libido, but after that, the drop-off can be dramatic. This can be challenging for the partner who is still craving sex and intimacy. Some partners may even wonder if they are no longer attractive to the other person. Also, if it’s a male partner who is struggling with alcohol use disorder, he may also have difficulties getting and maintaining an erection. If you’re struggling with these issues, remember that you’re not alone, and help is available.

But building time for leisure into your schedule could be key to helping you feel your best. And when you feel better, you’ll perform better, which means leisure time may make your work more efficient. One study found that combining walking and relaxation could be a particularly effective way to reduce stress.

Cut Out Things That Add to Your Stress

One of the most sneaky ways alcohol affects relationships is through what I call “pseudo-intimacy.” After a few drinks, conversations might feel deeper, more meaningful, more connected. But alcohol-enhanced interactions often lack the genuine vulnerability and authentic communication that builds lasting bonds. Maybe there’s tension with your partner that you can’t quite put your finger on, or conversations with friends seem to end in misunderstandings more often than they used to. Perhaps family gatherings feel more challenging, or you find yourself pulling away from the people who matter most.

Can alcohol change a person?

Alcohol addiction leads to compulsive alcohol use, so alcohol can quickly become the most important thing in your life. If you’d rather go out drinking than spend time with your partner, alcohol is probably ruining your relationship. If you think alcohol may be affecting your relationships, it might be a good idea to consider speaking with a healthcare or mental health professional. They can help determine whether what you’re experiencing is alcohol use disorder and recommend further evaluation or treatment if necessary.

Treatment centers often incorporate family therapy into their programs, recognizing that healing the family system is essential for long-term recovery success. These sessions can help family members understand addiction as a disease, learn healthier ways of communicating, and address the trauma and resentment that have built up over time. Medical detox might be necessary for people with severe alcohol dependence, as withdrawal symptoms can be dangerous and potentially life-threatening. A comprehensive treatment plan typically includes individual therapy, group therapy, education about addiction, and often medication to help manage cravings and withdrawal symptoms.

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